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My husband was helping me set up the Bluetooth in my car
today. The quick reference guide was
fairly easy to understand but some of the instructions seemed unnecessary.
Silly warning labels and tips written by Captain Obvious always make me smile
until I realize the cost of the oversized instruction book; the ink and labels
are always passed on to the consumer. But
why go to this ridiculous trouble? Well, the main reason is because lawsuit-obsessed
Americans have forced them to.
One of the bullet points in the Bluetooth basics said, and I
quote: Do not speak at the same time as
the other party during a call. If you and the other party speak at the same
time, it may be difficult for the other party to hear your voice and vice
versa. This is normal. Why did they
include this in the set-up guide? Probably because some blabbermouth called the
dealer to complain that their Bluetooth didn’t work. My mother always said,
“You have two ears and one mouth dammit. That means you should listen twice as
much as your speak.” Good thing she
didn’t write instruction booklets.
I’ve seen labels warning not to iron clothes while you’re
wearing them, not to use a curling iron on your eyelashes, don’t use a hair
dryer while you are sleeping, don’t use a match to check the fuel level on your
lawn mower and a microwave oven may say, not for drying pets. Of course you
will always find that silica packet in new electronics, purses and wallets that
says, DO NOT EAT. You know what this
means don’t you? It means that someone
in this world has done these things and then tried to blame the manufacturer
for the results. How else would they
come up with such nonsense?
I thought it might be fun to make up some additional helpful
tips of our own. Here are a few of mine, please feel free to add to the list:
Prescription label: Remove glasses before applying eye
drops.
Box of Ammo: Not for sensitive skin.
On a microscope: Use open eye to view slides.
On a cell phone: Do not use as a coaster.
On a mini CD: Do not substitute for Ninja stars.
On an electric stapler: Do not throw at co-worker.
