Everyone I know
complains that there isn't enough time in the day to get important
things done. I'm no exception. In the future however, I think I will be a
little more selective with things I combine to save time.
brilliantly arranged for two medical exams to be done on the same day.
It was my perfect time-saving plan. I would get my eyes examined,
including pupil dilation, in the morning and my annual mammogram in the
afternoon. Believe me, as usual, I tried every which way to get out of
the latter, reasoning with Dr. Rodriguez that an ultrasound would reveal
every bit as much as the procedure of using hydraulic pressure to
painlessly compress objects from four inches to five centimeters. Of
course, my lack of medical knowledge revealed itself, and he won out.Quesadillas again!
eye exam went well. Do you know they have a tool that's made
specifically for covering one eye? It's a circle on a stick. Wish I'd
thought of it. You just hold it in front of one eye and ta da, you can
only see out of the unobstructed eye! It's even better than placing one
hand over your eye. The doctor gave me a funny look when I told him it
would come in handy when drunk driving. Instant relief from double
vision. Anyway, I read the chart and endured the bright light. He
explained that my iris is like the shutter on a camera, the pupil
becomes smaller when the light shines in it. After the dilating drops
took effect, I resembled one of those characters in a horror flick where
their eyes are just one big, black, pupil.
I forgot to bring my sunglasses so after trying to pay for my exam with
my Starbucks gift card, the receptionist gave me a pair of disposable
sun glasses...the ones that resemble 3D glasses that you use in the
theater. Little good they did. I'm sure everyone in the waiting room
heard me scream when I stepped out the door into the sunlight.
looked at my watch, but only saw the vague outline of it encircling my
wrist. I judged by the position of the sun, directly over head, that it
must be close to noon and I would have time to return a book to the
library and have lunch before my next appointment. I guess I will have
to go back to the library tomorrow, to claim my organizer, and pay the
late fee for the book still sitting on my back seat.
waitress at the coffee shop was nice. She read the whole menu to me.
Twice. It didn't occur to me that after my appointment I wouldn't be
able to do anything that required crisp vision. Blinking didn't help, it
was frustrating, but I was thankful that I was wearing my temporary
sunglasses so as not to scare the other customers.
remember wondering if it was taking an unusually long time for my eyes
to return to normal as I blindly turned the pages of a magazine at the
imaging center. I groped my way to the dressing room after my name was
called, and put on the brittle paper vest that opens in the front. The
technician led me to the x-ray room and prepared to take the slides. She
seemed to be very amused when I told her the reason I was wearing the
paper sunglasses. She asked me if I could fit a bit of shopping in my
day to save even more time. I told her I actually was going to stop at
the mall before going home. Her laugh was contagious.
really shouldn't have been driving but I'm proof that God really does
look after drunks and fools. I made it to the mall safely, bought a skirt for work (I had
to ask another customer to read the price tag to me) and even found the
courage to go into Victoria's Secret for a new bra. After all they had
been through, they deserved to be swaddled in silk. The salesgirl was
very helpful, bringing me several different styles, sizes and colors and
even helped me try them on. She didn't say a word about the strange
looking sun glasses I was still wearing.
wasn't until later that night, while in the tub, and my vision had
returned, that I reviewed my day. I had learned a lot. Mostly, what not
to do, no matter how much time you save. Informative though, how your
eyes work, what technicians do to provide reference points on x-rays. I
looked down and saw that the metal Bb's the technician had scotch taped
to my nipples were still there.