Saturday, January 22, 2011


Wow, the internet was buzzing with freaky news yesterday. Two articles were especially interesting. First, a woman at the Berkshire mall fell into the indoor fountain while texting and walking. Unfortunately, the security guard who posted the video on You Tube was fired. I imagine this unforgivable breach of security may lead to a career change. On a lighter note, I posted the video on my wall, as we know a video is worth a thousand words.

The second article that caught my eye was about a 44-year-old woman in New Zealand who suffered a small stroke caused by a hickey. She went to the emergency room after she found that she couldn’t move her left arm while she was watching TV.

Who would think that a love bite could be so dangerous? It seems that if someone sucks your neck close to a major artery there is a chance of bruising the vessel and creating a blood clot which is what happened in this case. The clot traveled to the woman’s heart and caused the minor stroke which left her partially paralyzed. She was treated with an anticoagulant and the clot disappeared within a week. Whew!
Doctors poured through medical literature to find an example of this happening in the past and they found nothing.

This makes me wonder…why can’t I write things like this?!! This is good stuff. Two women are finding fame and fortune because of measureless stupidity. I’ve done stupid things but they never get filmed. I’ve seen stupid things that will never get reported.

There’s definitely something to be said for being in the right place at the right time. Remarkably, in these cases, bad news is good news. The texter will most likely sue the Berkshire mall and win her case. Indoor fountains will be permanently banned. Hickey lady will begin to tour high schools with her warning about the dangers of neck sucking.

I only have two questions. What the hell is a 44 year old woman doing with a hickey? And why do you have to move your left arm when you’re watching TV?...OMG, unless of course her amorous lover was sitting there.

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