One Thousand, Eight Hundred and Ten

I’ve just finished watching Julie and Julia. It occurred to me that success seems to be achieved while you’re busy doing something else. At least, that is what I gleaned from the movie, which must be why I liked Forest Gump so much. That happens to be my most treasured fantasy…you know, where success literally smacks you in the back of the head when you’re frantically trying to make something else work. So, here is a young woman who sets a goal for herself to prepare all of Julia’s rather difficult French recipes within a year. I’ll be darned if she didn’t do it too. She’s also a frustrated writer. Very inspiring.

Well, I thought, I’m a frustrated writer, musician, artist, chef, ice skater, ballroom dancer, gardener, poker player, horse trainer, and knitter. Maybe that is what the problem is. I’m just not focused enough. Maybe I should just pick something and jump in with both feet. After all, it’s the perfect time of year to set a goal.

I set my sights on my list of partially developed hobbies. I realized that I have been playing the guitar for the last thirty-five years and have never advanced further than, The Puppy Song. I don’t think I have enough time left to master the guitar. I rendered portraits a couple of decades ago and turned myself inside out to please people and get their images young enough, having the right style and quantity of hair, and with attractive noses and teeth. I felt like a cosmetic surgeon. No thanks. My mother wanted me to skate in the chorus line of the Ice Capades. Even with the bar lowered, my Axel jump was a disaster. I’m an Arthur Murray dropout, my garden was eaten by enormous, green-black bugs, and I’m too old to turn a saddle sore into a callus again. Yes, you do have to grow a callus on your tailbone to ride a horse. I don’t think my tater-tot, lima bean casserole will make it into a cookbook, so now I am toying with a different idea.

Since it was mentioned in the movie that Julie thought she had A.D.D. (Perhaps I do too, ya’ think?) and that was the reason she never finished her novel, I thought, as an intensely focused hobby, I might collect five thoughts per day from those suffering from A.D.D. If we start tomorrow, by the end of 2010, I will have collected one thousand, eight hundred and ten thoughts. And that’s a very impressive number. Of course, if you submit a thought, that would mean you are granting me permission to use it. Incomplete thoughts are welcome and the more humorous, the better. Keep it clean and original. If you use someone else’s thought, give ‘em credit.

Maybe suffering doesn’t have to be a symptom of A.D.D. Maybe if we have fun with it, the spell will be broken and A.D.D. will become nothing more than an unpleasant partial memory. Since it is more fun to participate in a group, I will expect everyone to pull their own A.D.D. weight. Don’t make me take up the slack, my brain may explode.

Comments are welcome….uh….now.